a subset of derek

On May 25th, 2005, author Inga Muscio visited my very own rural institution of higher education, Eastern Oregon University. It was great to meet Inga and hear about her research and her childhood stories; she is a great storyteller. We share similar background stories, interests in research, and lived experiences so I really connected with her through her writing. I am looking forward to reading her new book Secrets of a Blue Eyed Devil. This writing is about my connection with Inga’s first book.

Muscio wrote a book called Cunt: A Declaration of Independence and in it she explores all things vagina (sorry Inga, all things cunt). Reading Muscio really had an impact on how I am raising my daughters with regard to menstruation. I actually used to freak out a little bit about my period, because it is such a drag. Reading what Inga had to say, though, helped me connect with my body and think about what it meant in connection to the circle of life. I feel better about my body, and Muscio made me feel “okay” about having a period. Now I share that with my daughters. I do not want them growing up feeling like they need to hide their periods. I want them to rejoice their entrance into the sisterhood of women.

This is personal—so don’t read on if you have something against blood—but I want to share with you how I have begun making my period “natural” for my daughters. I do not shut them out of my bathroom when I use it (most of the time). This means they see all manner of my personal hygiene, including my “rituals” when I am menstruating. Before I read the book I used more privacy when I was on my period, but I want to normalize the experience of having a period so my daughters will not feel ashamed.

It is important for my daughters to feel wonderful and important as girls and women in America. One way of doing that is normalizing menstruation, which has become such a “travesty” in America. We have developed culture bound syndromes, as PMDD (Pre-menstrual Dysphoric Disorder), and mainstreamed pharmaceutical treatments for PMS (Pre-menstrual Syndrome), because our periods have become so cumbersome. We are prevented from engaging in battle or covert operations because we are women and have periods and get raped because we have cunts. I have a responsibility to normalize this process for my daughters so they do not feel the same pressure I did to hide my period (thus, denying my womanliness).

One day I forgot to use anything to catch the blood and it got all over my cute pink sweat capris: the girls happened to follow me into the bathroom and were present when I discovered this, so I did not freak out like I wanted to. Calmly, I said “ooops, I forgot my tampon. That’s okay,” and I went on from there. The opposite experience—me freaking about a blood stain and closing the girls out of the bathroom to clean myself up—would have conveyed a sense of shame to be experiencing womanliness. I am thankful for what I learned in Inga’s book and my girls are too, even though they do not yet know it.

My womanifesto is to develop a sense of appreciation (in me and in my daughters) for all things woman, beginning with our cunts.

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