a subset of derek

I have listened to lots of hip-hop in my time, some good (I mean De La’s 3 Feet High and Rising good) and some bad ([enter any Master P release here]). Every so often an artist comes along and I swear I hung out with him because I feel where he or she is coming from. Median is one of those artists…here’s a song of his from his site that I am feeling Comfortable. Give it a listen.

….you must acquit.

One of the most famous verses in modern memory. MC Johnny Cochran, Esq. has passed on to a better place…where people who are ruled not guilty don’t get sued for civil damages.

Rest in peace, counselor.

Entering a FREAKING beauty contest……..give me a break!

(American Beauty Contest – Five winners will receive a trip to New York City, professional hair and makeup for an official Good Housekeeping photo shoot, a $500 shopping spree from Kohl’s department store and American Beauty makeup and skin-care products.)

Oh how I want to be wisked away. This morning I deleted two “profiles” on internet dating services. How stupid can I get? Please……so, the next best thing…Calgon TAKE ME AWAY (and hope I get a little when I go!)

Here is the 200 word limit essay I wrote to enter the contest. I don’t know that it is needy enough, but I am, at least, beautiful enough:

I turn 30 this March, and until very recently I have been in a panic over the “loss” of my “youth.” I was terrified, because I would no longer be a twenty-something with my entire life before me, but suddenly a thirty-year-old having arrived at my future; I needed more time to catch up to the woman I thought I would be by now. The self of my girlhood dreams never aged beyond twenty-five, yet here I am at thirty. Do I measure up?

I do not look how I thought I would: I was taller and more regal in my girlhood fantasies. Having overcome morbid obesity (and the depression that often accompanies it), though, I am a body image/media literacy lecturer trying desperately to help women realize beauty comes from within.

The woman I was to become could never be bothered with children, yet I am a single mother of amazing twin daughters. My future self—a lawyer—lived in a fabulous home teeming with servants, but I live in a housing project (and I am not a lawyer).

I am graduating from college in June, and although I do not have all the tangible riches I imagined as a child, I have all the wealth in the world in my daughters, and I am in hot pursuit of making my new dreams come true: I want to live in a world in which all women will feel youthful, beautiful, and free no matter what age or size they are.

I am no longer afraid, and, yeah, I measure up.

here is a piece that I posted in a MSN group I am in. The question was “What do you find attractive about white women”. A guy in the group said that he loved all women and I echoed his sentiment and here’s why I do:

I grew up in the hood too but I was exposed to a lot outside of the hood growing up so I never embraced thuggish behavior. Since I don’t act as black men are (wrongfully) perceived in the media, I am seen as “not black enough”, “weird” or as wanting to “be white”.

I also don’t share the obsession with materialism that a lot of people share. It’s part of American life but it’s a disproportionate part of African-Americans lives. The bling, the cars, the houses, the clothes, the drinks…all of that is irrelevant if you are empty inside. I don’t have a lot of that stuff because I want people in general and women in particular to see what’s inside me and respect and appreciate that.

That philosophy makes it hard to reach some women…not just black women. Pretty much any myopic woman who doesn’t care about the world outside of her sphere is not for me…and there are women of all colors that feel this way. I like women, period. More of them have been white but if Ms. Right was black, Puerto Rican or from the great nation of Riggity Rrrarlll (you know, they are part of the Coalition of the willing–chappelle reference) and we crossed paths today, I will be with her because she’s Ms. Right, not because she’s black.

In many ways, INTRAracial dating is easier (especially for people of color) because in our racially polarized culture it’s sometimes hard for those not in your cultural group to relate. As we get away from the polarizing factor of race as a social construct, we will see that we can relate to others on the basis of our personal experiences. I have a great friend who is from Athens, OH (home of Ohio University–not to be confused with Ohio State University). Athens is in Appalachia which I like to call the world’s largest ghetto. I grew up in inner city Cleveland, about 200 miles away. We both grew up poor in single parent households (though I did have a good relationship with my father), we both were in honors courses and we both saw education as a way out of poverty. Plus we both like the funk . She and I always have a lot to talk about. I don’t see how it would be different if she was black. She and I would still have a lot to talk about . I value my friend for who she is and what we have shared, not her color.

ON FINALS – Well, I guess I did something right. I earned an A- in Math 211….which means I got an A on the final. PHEW!! I was nervous because this was my first term as a full time student since I had the girls two years ago (almost 3 now). I took all hard classes for grades (no pass/fail options here). I am doing well. I can’t wait until graduation in June! I hope I do just as well in Principles of Statistics this Spring term!

GRIPING – I went to the 58th annual NW Anthropology Conference this past Friday and it was a disaster. The woman who organized it could not have organized an evacuation out of a matchbox. She was horrid and had the poster session-ers in an unmarked room. I paid tons of money and time to attend this thing and not one anthropologist came to talk to me about my work. I was counting on making connections for graduate school, but because of the abysmal organization of the conference that did not happen.

Crappy.

I recenlty won an award from the Pacific Sociological Association to bring my work to Portland and share it at that annual conference. I have the feeling that conference will bring the grad school hook ups! I will actually be presenting in a session entitled “Issues in Race and Ethnicity.”

http://www.csus.edu/psa/Prelim_Program_Portland_2005.pdf

(I am in #103).

SUBJECT CHANGE- The funniest thing is that after all of this, I want to enter a contest in Good Housekeeping for a free trip to NY……it is all very hypocritical of me.